"Hasn't everyone had at least one experience with a nightmare client? The answer is, of course, yes! Having been in business for more than 25 years, you do get a sense from the initial meeting about the personality of the homeowners. Each has their own special set of characteristics—and neuroses. I only really ever had two nightmare clients. One refused to get a permit—first red flag—and insisted on using his own contractor. The cabinets never functioned properly because of his very poor installation. This, of course, was blamed on the cabinets and the customer actually sued the cabinet company. I blame myself for not cutting the relationship sooner after dealing with his belligerent attitude. Lesson learned.

"Customers No. 2 were the worst—unhappy and neurotic people, extremely demanding, no boundaries as to when they would contact me or when they would pay me. I always felt like whatever I did was not good enough, and thankfully, I cut the cord a few months into the relationship. They couldn't understand why I would do such a thing, even though I explained to them that their requests—such as 'the cushion on the new custom-made chair is too puffy and I want to return it'—were unreasonable. They blasted my reputation on a couple of local Internet sites. But suffice it to say, I was glad I did it. They were extremely unhappy people and I got a really bad vibe from them.

"So what am I getting at here? Go with your instincts! If you feel like you need a stiff drink after meeting with your clients, and their requests are unreasonable, let them go. It will only cost you money or your reputation in the end, and it simply isn't worth it!"

—Patricia Gaylor, Patricia Gaylor Interior Design, Little Falls, NJ.


"One trick I learned from an old partner is this: Find a small mistake that is easily repairable during a job inspection while as many of the trades are present—the more the better. It needs to be something the client has not seen or brought up yet. Absolutely lose your temper about this 'stupid mistake.' Swearing and throwing something is good. You need to seem out of control with fury about this foolish mistake. Your lead installer then steps in as the 'good cop' and stops you as you're about to smash something. He calms you, assuring you he'll take care of it. Then storm out. You need to scare the customer. After this they will not dare bring anything else to your attention. Works every time."

—Gary White, CMKBD, CID, president of Kitchen & Bath Design, Gerrit Design, Newport Beach, CA.


"We, like all seasoned kitchen and bath designers, have had the occasional nightmare client. Of course, the best way to 'halt the horror' is to recognize it in the early stages and not take the project. Not too long ago we had a project with a client who was extremely neurotic. Although I sensed this at the beginning of the project, I thought her husband, who was a gentle sort, could keep her in check. He could not. Three-quarters of the way through the project I had had enough. We had several separate contracts with this couple rather than keeping everything in one contract. I strongly suggest that everyone do this. We sat down with the client, both husband and wife, and told them that we did not feel we could 'make her happy' and therefore thought it would be best for us to finish the contract that was started but not to continue with the other contracts. We were very pleasant, wished them well and ended the relationship. When we were leaving, her husband walked me to my car and told me he thought I had made a very wise and professional decision. The additional money that I would have earned on that project would never be worth the personal abuse from this client.

"There are, of course, many tell-tale signs of the nightmare client: They've worked with many previous designers and say none of them knew what they were doing; they want to alter your contract a lot; they love everything you show them but they want to change it; they are people who just know everything. We all know these tell-tale signs and see them coming. We think we can deal with them, but we can't and it's not worth it. The best thing to do is not take on these clients in the beginning. There are some people who no one can make happy, so better to let them make someone else's life miserable. No matter how much you charge them, it's never enough because they are disruptive to your entire organization from the project manager to the accounting office."

—Joan DesCombes, CKD, president of Architectural Artworks Incorporated, Winter Park, FL.


"I had a nightmare client recently who was a total control freak. After every meeting with her I'd arrive back at my office, only to find that I'd already received an email from her outlining what things had to be done even though we had just recapped them at the meeting. This client felt she could call me at anytime, late at night, over the weekend, whenever she had a thought in her mind related to the project. None of these issues were ever of real importance to the project, and they could all certainly wait until business hours. She'd follow up her voicemails with several long-worded emails. She would even text me.

"If I told her a piece of furniture would be ready in 12 weeks, after a week or so she'd start to pester me about the delivery. Whenever she wrote me an email, she included in every message a summation of all the open items on the entire project. Needless to say the emails were overly long.

"This went far beyond being a control freak. She totally hounded me and my resources. Whenever she had an email address from a vendor, she'd contact them directly, even though she asked me to follow up with them. Several vendors asked that she stop contacting them directly. In fact, one vendor almost returned her deposit.

"My solution was to work fast to get the job done quickly—I needed to get her out of my hair! I only answered her calls during business hours, and if she called after hours, I let her call go to voicemail. I'd check voicemail occasionally, and only if it was urgent would I send her an email in response. I never returned her calls after hours. I tried to limit answering text messages, particularly if the same issue was covered in an email. I kept all of our correspondence focused on the business at hand. I avoided sending out group emails, thereby limiting her ability to contact my sources directly. In addition, I stayed on top of the project, and, when necessary, enlisted the help of a vendor—but forewarned them that she was a difficult person to handle.

"Though she never stopped her hounding, she never complained that I didn't answer her calls over the weekend. I think she just needed to get the issue off her chest—even if it were over a throw pillow. I let her vent all she wanted to into my voicemail. I dealt with her directly, and in the end the project came out beautifully. She was happy."

—John A. Buscarello, ASID, John A. Buscarello, Inc.,, New York, NY.


"We have definitely had our fair share of difficult clients over the years. However, most bad situations can be traced back to one common denominator: poor management of the client's expectations. I feel this is my number-one job responsibility with a client. Part of this is assessing the client's personality and style of doing business and being adaptable ourselves. Then, it is a matter of communicating to the client, as well as the subs involved, to ensure best possible success. We have a saying here: 'if you ask the right questions, you will get the right answers.'

"We have worked with some notable people in our community that are perceived as
'difficult' and have had zero problems. This is primarily because we have asked the right questions and managed their expectations and kept up good and direct communication at all times. My staff knows that when something unforeseen happens on a job, and it happens to all of us, the best thing we can do is to communicate the information promptly and truthfully. I always want to be the one who tells my client we have a 'problem' and not let them hear it from another sub or the builder—or worse, discover it themselves. I find that when you approach almost anyone with a problem/solution rationale, they are more receptive to the process.

"Of course, there are people who choose to be unhappy despite your best approach. The best way to handle these types is to avoid them in the first place. We have developed a keen sense of assessing a potential client to ascertain their personality type and if it will be a good match with our company and our philosophy of doing business. Sometimes it is far better to pass on a project than to get into the middle of it and have it go south because of personality conflicts. This is bad marketing for your business. Likewise, when we have positive interactions, we take very good care of that potential referral source. Sometimes, even if I do not feel it is our responsibility to take care of a particular problem, I do it anyway and put it under the 'advertising and marketing' line on my balance sheet!"

—Cheryl Kees Clendenon, In Detail Kitchen and Bath, Pensacola, FL.